How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Other Spiritual Businesses

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When venturing into the unknown world of business ownership, you generally hear about the awesome promises – more freedom, more choice, bigger impact….and so on. And although they’re absolutely a part of business ownership, there is also a dark side to it – particularly when you’re in the ‘virgin’ stage (the beginning). You’re not going to hear this often because not many new business owners would even care to admit it because….well….it’s just a little bit too mean.

On the surface it seems mean but really, it’s never about the surface – there’s always a lower level meaning to everything. So allow me to be the ‘mean’ one here and admit the very thing that majority of new business owners will never admit. As you know I’m all about telling it like it is, so this is no exception. Just a word of caution though, please don’t read this if you’re not ready to know the truth – ‘ignorance is bliss’ and you know what? Sometimes it is!

Here’s the thing.

When you’re creating your business, you’re going to be looking around at your ‘competition’ to see what they’re up to. This isn’t about spying, this is about research and making sure your business is a combination of what people want (as in what do they get from your competition) and your awesome uniqueness. People will tell you, ‘Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing’ but when it comes to business, you really do need to know what other people are doing because how else are you going to ensure your business goes beyond the ‘norm’?

YOU…ARE…UNIQUE. You can’t go wrong when you honour that. When you start embracing YOU and not apologising for it then that’s when you’ll see success.

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So in the beginning you’re undoubtedly going ‘research crazy’ – looking online at other businesses, trawling through the newspaper advertisements, looking at magazine articles, and attending every industry related live event you can get yourself into without looking desperate………..but there’s a sinister side to all this ‘research’……..the dark side that most business owners will never admit.  As you’re innocently going about researching the who’s who of your industry, you suddenly realise something very scary – that everyone is doing what you intend to do…or more the point, that they’re ALREADY doing it. Here you thought you had a great idea about how your business could operate and what it could offer, and then suddenly you realise that this idea has become a ‘been there, done that’ scenario. Then, through sheer annoyance, you start to make the whole ‘research’ exercise an obsession. You start to look in depth at their business website – the layout, the colours, the images used. You start to notice what the owner is wearing, their makeup, their complexion, the luxurious high-end background; how every single photo seems to look flawless and PERFECT. You then notice the number of followers on their social media channels and it’s into the thousands. These people are already doing what you thought you’d be doing, and you’re not even there yet!

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And then…..and here’s the worst part…..you find yourself comparing. You might look at your own appearance or compare the appearance of your website and realise it’s not as fresh or vibrant as the other businesses already doing what you dream of doing. You look at the number of people on your social media channel and to find it’s nowhere close to being 4 digits like all the other people in business….and your heart sinks. Why didn’t you just stay focused on your business and not bother to see what everyone else is doing? But it’s too late now – the damage has been done.

But wait, we’re not done yet. To add more fuel to the fire, you realise…and this is what REALLY pisses you off….that each business owner that you’ve researched all seem to be nice people. URGH! It would make is so much easier if they were total assholes and then you could hold a teeny bit of dislike for them but sadly, they’re beautiful people who want to inspire and help others…..so you have absolutely no reason to feel this way….angry, frustrated, saddened….jealous.

And these feelings all boil down to one thing……

…….. Believing that you’re not enough.

I teach my gorgeous tribe in the MASTER Your Soulful Business course that the best thing to do when looking at your competition is to realise that they had to start from somewhere. They didn’t wake up in the morning with 1000’s of followers, or their blog videos weren’t mysteriously perfect without any technological mishaps or editing. And they didn’t suddenly come into a 6-figure income without putting their blood, sweat and tears into their business. All you see is the final product but none of the background stuff….the times when they broke down when the stress got too much or the times when they felt deflated when they thought their product launch would be amazing and it completely sucked. Those frustrating times when they lost sleep over worrying whether their business will ever be a success – whether they’ve made the right decision to take a leap into the unknown or they should have just given up completely.

But I’ve found that teaching JUST that to my students is not enough.

It’s not enough to ‘know’ that other businesses have been through the roller coaster of business creation as you would/are too because it’s not about them. It’s about you.

And really….the real reason why comparing yourself to others is such a draining and love-sucking task isn’t because the other businesses are deliberately trying to steal your energy and make you feel bad, it’s because YOU believe you’re not good enough….YOU believe that you’ll NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH.

And then you wonder to yourself, ‘Why would anyone want to listen to me when there are already people out there already doing it. What would I ever bring to the table? What’s the point of this business when I’m going to fail anyway?’ Oh my gorgeous soul – I hear ya! Believe me! The only reason why I know all this dark side stuff is because I’ve fallen victim to the ‘not being good enough’ syndrome for years. It’s this belief of not being worthy and believing that I’ll never amount to the success that other people have already reached that stopped me moving forward with my life for so long….and can I tell you a secret?

I still feel that way at times.

Every so often the belief that I’m not good enough pops in for a visit

but there’s a distinct difference between now and a few years

back as to how I deal with it.

So here’s the thing………

When you see all the other businesses doing it while you’re still in the creating stage, you’re going to be faced with doubts. You’re going to question your own abilities and your worthiness of success. You’re going to compare yourself and nitpick every element of what you’ve done so far….constantly comparing what you’re doing to what they’re doing. I mean, they must be doing something right if they can continue to manage their business and have so many followers right? Right.

……………….but

NO ONE and I mean NO ONE can do it as good as you can. SERIOUSLY.

We’re not autopilot robots. There is not one SINGLE PERSON on this planet that is the same as you – period. So many people look at their external environment to see how they can be different, but guess what – it’s not about the external stuff. It’s the internal stuff. WHO YOU ARE is what makes you different – what you like, your pet hates, your quirky sense of humour. Your love for vintage, eclectic or modern things. Your ability to transform other people’s lives just by you being you. YOU….ARE……UNIQUE. You can’t go wrong when you honour that. When you start embracing you and not apologising for it then that’s when you’ll see success.

So focus, focus, focus – ON YOU. Don’t pretend to be someone else for the sake of succeeding because I can tell you now – you won’t, not as much as you would if you were being true to yourself.

#UNIVERSAL TRUTH: The reason why there are other people doing

the same as you in business is because the Universe knows

how important this work is. And instead of putting a huge

responsibility on your shoulders, it ensures that there are others

who will also take on the challenge. As one, you can impact

thousands. As a tribe, you can impact the world.   

 

So this whole idea of being good enough is a big challenge. I personally dislike the term, ‘I’M GOOD ENOUGH’ because to me the word ‘enough’ means there’s no room for growth – that there’s some kind of threshold and nothing can go beyond that. So how about we start a new trend. From here on in, anytime your lizard brain (the part of your brain that stores ‘bullshit’) pipes up and says ‘WOAH, HOLD ON SISTA! LET’S SHY AWAY FROM THIS AND BELIEVE WE’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH’, you can then respond by saying:

“I’M BETTER THAN JUST GOOD ENOUGH”

And that my gorgeous soul, is the truth.

So what’s your story? How have you been coping as you create your new business – have you too fallen into the ‘I’m not good enough’ trap? Share with us your way of moving past this.

With fist pumping love,

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