So I need to air this. Where did the idea come from that heart-centered people aren’t allowed to have a bad day? There seems to be a myth right now that heart-centered people – the people who want to spread joy, love and peace around the world, are ALWAYS, and I mean ALWAYS, positive people. And because of this ridiculous myth, it’s expected that we remain positive and see the good in everything ALL…THE…..TIME.
Well in what Universe is this normal? And in what Universe is this actually okay? Why is there a ridiculous expectation that you’re supposed to be cool, calm and collected every moment of your life?
Yes you guessed it…I’m having a bad day. This is a combination of many things that have built on top of one another like a pancake stack, and today I’ve reached my threshold of how much I’m prepared to put up with. Interestingly it was a tiny thing that set me off but I’ve made the classic mistake of not dealing with all the other things the past month, so this tiny little thing (spilling my Nutri-Grain cereal on the doona….yes, you read correctly!) was like a match to a thousand unlit fireworks…KABOOM! And as I was sitting there feeling the tears run down my face whilst I play out ALL the things I’m annoyed about to fully justify the ‘why’ behind my outburst; I felt a strange sensation creep in….
I felt guilty that I was even feeling crappy and annoyed. I felt guilty that I wasn’t coming from a glass is half full perspective. I felt guilty that I was even angry about the things I was angry about knowing full well there are people worse off than me. But then it struck me. Why? Why is it not okay to feel these things? Why is it not okay to have a bad and shitty day? Why do we even do this to ourselves – deny our true feelings for the sake of fitting into the whole ‘heart-centered’ definition? It seems so ridiculous and unrealistic!
Ironically as I considered the guilt, the feeling of annoyance appeared again, only this time it was because I realised how much of my own truth I’d been holding back…..why hadn’t I spoken up earlier? Funnily enough, I’ve been sick with Bronchitis the past week – this relates to the Throat Chakra, which of course is all about communicating your truth! But let’s not get into that because this isn’t about seeing the ‘lesson’ in everything, this is about stepping up and saying THIS IS OKAY!
So here’s what you need to know…..
And if we were speaking in person right now I’d be looking you sharply in the eyes with my hands on your shoulders so I have your full and undivided attention……
It’s perfectly okay to feel angry and frustrated with the world. It’s perfectly okay to have the shits with other people and your own circumstances. It’s perfectly okay to feel like you’ve hit rock bottom where all you want to do is throw yourself on the floor like a toddler and scream, kick, and cry. If anything I believe we can learn a lot from toddlers! I love that when things aren’t going their way, they let you know about it. No apologies. No second-guessing their emotions. No holding back. When they want something and it doesn’t go their way, they let it rip – and I LOVE THAT!
The fact is though, people expect toddlers to do that, but for adults…..not so much.
But let me set the record straight….
YOU’RE ENTITLED TO HAVE A SHITTY DAY!
You’re allowed to feel all the yuckiness and crap that you REALLY FEEL. You’re allowed to cry and scream into a pillow. You’re allowed to throw toilet rolls across the room (speaking from experience) to rid yourself of the frustration. IT’S OKAY TO HAVE A BAD DAY! It’s a natural human experience and denying it would mean you’re denying your truth. You can try all you want to be positive, positive, positive, but seriously……things are going to annoy you. There is no one on Earth that doesn’t feel annoyed at one time or another. And when you have these kinds of days, please know it by no means makes you a bad person. Just tell it like it is!
If you hate something – say so. If you feel frustrated – say so. If you feel like everything is going wrong – say so! Say it to your closest friend, a family member, or even yourself. Grab a mirror and just sit in your own company for a while – JUST BE.
Write it out in a journal if that’s something you resonate with. Whatever it is, just do it WITHOUT JUDGEMENT!
I guarantee from my own personal experience that holding onto the frustration will make it worse in the long run. You might think you’ve dealt with it (by not dealing with it) but soon you’ll find yourself eating Nutri-grain in bed, reaching over to get a tissue and the whole bowl tipping over – cereal and all. And then you’ll explode (there’s an ironic saying, ‘Never cry over spilt milk’….well……I think we can safely say it’s too late for that!).
You’ll think you’re blowing it out of proportion but deep down you know the truth…..this isn’t about spilt milk, this is about lots and lots of things that all combine to form one GIANT KABOOM.
So if you’re having an awfully shitty day then that’s totally OKAY. There’s no judgement from my end that’s for sure!
Let it out and be okay with it.
Sit with it.
And you know what? You’ll actually start to feel better. Even just writing about it I’m starting to feel better, so there’s your proof.
Hun – it’s all good. I’m sorry you’re having a shitty day but you need to know that whatever it is that you feel right now, it’s okay. It’s not permanent but it still needs your attention. Don’t deny your shittiness…..it’s a part of you, even for a brief moment.
With big love,